I didn't know what to title this one. It is basically everything I think people who care about me need to hear. Those who make it to the end of the video are probably the ones I want knowing all this anyway.
Blog Letter from Ryan Gonzales on Vimeo.
Hey Ryan,
ReplyDeleteI know I don't know you that well, but I want you to know that you are always welcome in Ryder and I's home. If you ever want to talk or just hang out, we'd be happy to have you over! I understand a lot of what you are going through...and the key is to figure out who God designed you to be...and that normally means that you no longer think about yourself, but about God and His people. Then you will realized your purpose and find true joy. I know that sounds cliche, but it's a journey we are all on as Christians. We all have to realize that we really suck at this thing called life for our faith to become real and what we truly depend on. And when we depend on our faith in Jesus Christ, the world becomes different...we see people in different ways, we feel love and compassion for everyone, and God opens our hearts and those around us to create love and sibling-type relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ. Anyways, just know that you are in my prayers and you are always welcome in the Walton home!
With Love in Christ,
Lindsay
Ryan, I just finished watching this latest post of yours and my heart is braking for you. At times I think that we as feeling people, get lost and stumble and sometimes feel like we've lost our way. You've taken the first and perhaps biggest step just in screaming out for help. Steve and I are here for you and will do anything you need us too. I don't really know what else to say except that we love you, honestly, sincerely and without any strings attached. We've known you for a long time and watched you grow into this sweet young man and we're here for you! Love, Nancy McMillan
ReplyDeleteI think as humans, everyone yearns to be accepted and no matter how many times we tell ourselves "I don't care what others think" we always do to some extent. That need to be accepted can be unbearable sometimes, especially when we don't feel it's being met. What we have to always remember, though, is that being accepted by other humans isn't always all that it's cracked up to be and that relationships don't just happen-- they take work and effort. It's hard to believe that I was just listening to the same "kid" that I used to babysit... You're all grown up now. All I can really tell you is, from experience, don't get in your own way of experiencing true, meaningful relationships. Don't try to be like the "cool" kids...Isn't being "cool" relative? It's like being wierd. Who can really call you wierd? Wierd compared to what??
ReplyDeleteI don't really know if any of this helps you or makes sense but I felt like I needed to at least try to offer some encouraging words.
Keep your chin up,
Sarah (McMillan) Robles
Suggested readings: "Wild at Heart" and "Fathered by God." Both by John Eldredge.
ReplyDeleteLearning what it means to be a man of God is tough--even tougher if you've been wounded along the way. You recognize those wounds...now tackle them. You recognize that you have tried to fill voids in your life with different things...behaving certain ways, girlfriends, etc. These will all fail. Fill that void with God...THEN the happiness you're looking for will be there. THEN you can have successful relationships, etc.
Take it from someone who has been down that road. If I can be of any help, let me know.
Aaron Shotts
I find it a bit ironic that you are renouncing your faith, but yet you are sporting a Oklahoma Christian University T-shirt.
ReplyDeleteHey. First off I hope you will take my words into extra.consideration cause this is your brother. Second, after you figure this all out ( and I say after cause I know you will) you will make a good counselor for Christians going through the same thing. I know your not alone in this. I have been thinking the same thing abt how you changed and lost which you were and can't even find yourself now. People have said how you are selfish. And at times I guess you are. But my guess is that all these years the focus has been good. You've just been trying to make and keep good friends, although you kinda changed because you didn't think they'd like the real you. Maybe you were right or maybe you weren't. But the better focus would have been on God. Right now you are getting there and I'm glad. But you want to go further. The real question is right now do you have that hunger and thirst for righteousness, which is God? I think you do. People liking you... if you have that passion for God, I know they will. Not everyone obviously, but definitely more than you think. You weren't there to head my "words of wisdom" at the senior banquet, but I said a girlfriend isn't everything. But if she is the one, remember she is the queen and God is the King. You are just His servant there to take care of her and show His love to her. Ryan, I KNOW you have that hunger and thirst for righteousness. Transform that into a passionate learning. Is there a song that speaks to you? Makes you cry because it reflects exactly where you are in this game of life, where the true Christian wins? ... I just want you to know that you need to seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you. Blessed are those who HUNGER and THIRST for righteousness and they shall be FILLED.
ReplyDeleteDustin
Your Honesty is gripping and believe it or not attractive. When scriptures say come boldly to the Throne of Grace it doesn't just mean as a son but also as a sinner. You move to be transparent for all to see is as bold as it gets. Thank you for helping me get in touch with my own inner struggles of self-centeredness, loneliness and pursuits for happiness. My prayer has been as was with King David, "Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me..." I'll pray the same for you Ryan. Some deliverances are immediate and others are through prescription. Keep up your doses of laughter and encouragement and watch your strength be renewed.
ReplyDeleteSmart OKIE,
DC James